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About Me

This picture...

Picture, image, capture, photograph, whatever you want to call it.  This image- this capture from this day changed my life.  You see, it was never about photography. 

One fall afternoon several years ago, a friend of mine and I were out for a walk and my friend asked me what I’m passionate about.  I didn’t know.  I wasn't passionate about anything anymore.  I had been in the horse breeding industry my whole life but after a painful layoff and a move back to Colorado (and the OMG realization that breeding season for horses coincides with summer time for my kids- what would they DO all day??), I knew I didn’t want to do that anymore. I’ll always love and own horses but at that point, horses didn’t fuel me. 

For the first time in my life, I didn’t have a just-for-me passion. 

Sure, my kids are my passion, cooking is my passion, my family is my passion, but we have to have something in life that lights our fire other than laundry and cooking dinner.   We owe it to ourselves to find that something.  My friend’s question that day really rattled me.  I had lost my identity, my drive.  I was no longer a well respected Breeding Manager at a large, prominent horse farm.  

Who was I?  I was a wife, a mother, a mediocre house keeper.   That was it?? 

Not long after that day, my friend Ali called and asked me if I would come over and take head shots of her for a new job she was applying for.  She said she’d take mine, too.  I told her sure, I’d take her picture, but I didn’t need any photos of myself.  I had no where to apply to- no reason for photos of myself.   Come over, Ali said, we’ll have a glass of wine and have fun with it.  While the kids played downstairs,  we raided Ali’s closet, drank a fabulous merlot and took each other’s pictures.  And it was FUN.  We had such a good time that day, playing dress up, looking like a GIRL for a change (come on, what mom hasn’t fallen in to “why-bother-changing-out-of-my-sweats” mode??) and taking each other’s pictures.  Ali has a background in modeling, so I knew her pictures would look great.  What I wasn’t expecting was that so did MINE.  And this was after the merlot wore off!   

What I saw in myself that day was something I had lost long ago.  Or maybe it was something I didn’t even know I had.  

The photos she took of me changed my life.  Yes, that’s a huge statement, but seriously.  I looked good.  I wasn’t just a 30-something year old worn out mom, I was really beautiful.  I had gotten so used to seeing myself in the mornings with no makeup, bags under my eyes and with extra baby weight, I had just assumed that’s who I was.  Gone was the attractive, successful blond that I had been for the past decade and in her place was a complacent, frumpy, bitter, MOM.   But through the sheer act of putting forth the effort to get dressed, put on some makeup and be in front of the camera, I was able to see myself in a different light.  And I liked it.  I realized *that’s* who I was.  Not some frumpy dumpy.  I had a pep in my step from that day forward.  I started eating better.  I started exercising more.  I started taking care of myself.  Because all of the sudden I had more value to myself.  I was that girl in the pictures.  I held my head higher from that day forward and vowed to pay it forward. 

I want to make other women and girls feel the same way I did that day.  Everyone deserves to feel that, to have that catalyst if they need one.  At the bare minimum, everyone deserves to have their heart sing at amazing images of themselves or themselves and their family.   That’s how I got in to photography.   It wasn't ever about the photos.  It's about the feelings they conjure.  

"Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever. . . it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything."  —Aaron Sussman

 

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